Your phone rings much less frequently. Your texts and Snapchats are left on read more often. You see, these are the things you expect to happen from scorned exes or past flames who hoped to become more when you find a new love, but not friends you’ve had for years. You see, for many years I was a friend you could count on to be single. No kiss on New Year’s? No worries, Gabe won’t have one either. No date on Valentines? No worries, Gabe has never even celebrated one. Not in the mood to travel? No worries, Gabe will visit or won’t travel either, he has nobody to venture with. Honestly, I’ve been single so long, I didn’t realize that had become my identity. Gabe, the single friend. After so long of celebrating friend’s relationships; engagements; marriages; traveling on couple’s trip as a solo participant, I just naturally assumed that when Christian and I finally managed leave the past in the rear view and commit, I had people in my life that would revel in that with me. Instead, in the last few months I can see my relationship becoming titanium and my friends becoming people I barely speak to.
Is that what growing up is? Over the years I’ve watched so many friendships fall apart and naturally have just always assumed it was due to someone getting a significant other. I have always sworn to myself that I wouldn’t be that person. That I would maintain my friendships and build a strong relationship. But honestly, sometimes maybe people like you when you’re sad. It’s as if finding happiness hi-lites some territory they have yet to discover. If I opened my snapchat now, my top friends aren’t even mine… they’re Christian’s. The memes I share and messages exchanged… Christian’s. The saying, “We either grow together or grow apart,” is one that I’m still learning.
Honestly, you can’t have it all. But if forced to choose… take love, because at the end of the day, your friends aren’t going to eat your ass like a cupcake.