“I hope when you find someone you love they cheat on you.”
This is a statement that echoes in my mind.
I know it’s been a while, but hi guys- it’s me. Gabe. This summer was so busy; I can’t even explain! And I know what you’re wondering, “GABE! What the fuck is up with that quote?!” Well, let’s crack open my summer a little bit. I promise you, we are only scratching the surface on the continuous journey I like to call life and learning.
If you’ve read my other blogs, great news, I’ve moved on from Christian and finally gotten back out into the dating scene. It’s been awkward, exciting, reluctances- a complete spectrum of emotions. But finally, in the sea of attractive faces and no depth, I found Russel. For me, Russ was such a needle in a haystack. A genuinely sweet, smart, funny guy who loves fitness and healthy living as much as I. Seemingly the jackpot. He made me laugh, held my hand, was proud to tell every gay guy that hollered at him, he’s taken by me. But like all fairytales… they end. You see, Russ never told me a huge part… Russel has a wife.
I know what you’re all thinking, why didn’t I immediately run in the opposite direction? Well, in large cities it is fairly common to hear of open relationships, and after being assured the wife had no qualms, I felt I could enter a friendship with no issues. In fact, we were issueless until an old friend entered the picture… hello tequila. It’s been a while.
The problem with tequila is that whatever inhibitions that were present are no more. And the sparks that existed pre- wife came right back. Music, tequila, strobe lights… the combination for romance and these hips didn’t lie. These hips were so damn honest, I still haven’t seen the shirt I wore that night since. It was just a kiss I told myself, you can forget that and move right along. We all know the issue here is that whatever is done in the night under strobes eventually have to face daylight. Now re-read the initial quote and let that simmer in your mind for a moment…
So, what do I say back? Your husband told me you were open, and I tried to avoid it- but slipped for one moment? I’m sorry I hurt you, it’s not what I wanted to do? Let’s pitch this situation to TLC and get a reality show… actually, TLC isn’t touching this hot fucking mess of a situation. I know we aren’t replacing Chip and Joanne, but maybe you’ll see me on HBO soon, keep you all posted!
What Russ’ wife didn’t know is that I know that feeling all too well. Story of my life really. What she also doesn’t know right now is that she’s not upset with me. She’s deflecting, she’s so hurt and upset with him, it’s easier to place it on me. She’s so upset with herself for the instant forgiveness that it’s easier to place the blame on me. Her husband seeking me is out the window; her husband not telling me she existed is out the window; her husband saying they were open and continuing the friendship though we had an attraction was out the window… right now she sees that Gabe came in like a bad bitch fresh off the set of a Beyonce video and lured her husband.
Right now she’s asking herself what she could do to be better. Right now she’s asking herself how she found this amazing guy and she still isn’t enough. Right now she’s asking herself how many others are there. And for me, I get it all… so today, I’ll be the bad guy. Today I will take the blame… because I knew to run, because I have experienced this. I was so excited to meet someone I had so much in common with, I tempted fate, I gambled and I lost…
Tonight, I’ll be sad and lonely. Tomorrow… I’ll know better.